Dairy Avoider T-Shirts

'We are so lactose intolerant that we arrested the milkman.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Important Food Groups

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Oh Hi!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

A consumer guide to cheese.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"