Daily Reflection Guru Gifts

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"What was I thinking?!"

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

TV-Mirror.

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

Desk at the Horizon

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

"Lots of people talk to themselves..."

"If every day is a gift, where can I return all of last week?"

"Yeah, I'm at that awkward age where all my friends are starting families, or rehab."

"I'm returning this mirror. It makes me look fat."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Cow and Pig see 'Staff' logo reflected and read it as 'Fats'.

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

"Well, I suppose it's time to acknowledge that Jesus was the glue of this friendship group."

"You've got to start letting people in."

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"I ate and I drank but I wasn't merry."

"Life"

"Never give up on your dreams..."

Time is a Trap.