Dad T-Shirts

"Two Stones tickets, please, senior discount."

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

"Before we begin this family meeting, how about we go around and say our names and a little something about ourselves."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

'I'm not supposed to lick myself either.'

"Didn't I just give you money for a start-up last week?"

"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"For next Father's Day, we'll get you a tie clip."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"Go ask your mother."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"Dad bods are so in right now."

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

You know that Santa's on his way. He's Loaded!

"He hasn't seen you without a mask."

'Dad, good luck fly fishing.'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good thing dad kept them!"

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"Now, where was I?"

"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."

Steep learning curve ahead.

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

'Sorry Dad, but my true passion is for making furnitures, not dams...'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'So, for every day that your math grade stays below a B, your father will post a video of himself on YouTube.'