Dad Humor Aficionado Mugs

"There can be only one."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Next to Nothing

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

Note Book

Official Team Cap With Beard

"It's a dependent!"

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Child on a schedule.

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

'In this rare photo of President Bush standing beside former President Clinton, one can't help but notice how the weight of office has grayed their hair.'