Cynical Critics Mugs

Corrupted Politicians

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

The Forever Stamp

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"With great power comes great reward."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Suggestions Get Shredded.

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Diogenes and tourists

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'