Cynical Adventurer T-Shirts

Avoid disappointment later - abandon all hope now.

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Right here's fine."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Now you can send it."

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"...it's another metal detector."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Teddy Bear

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

King flicking out his tongue to catch a fly.

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

Targets

Will Self deprecation

The ambush.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

Soap recovery Ship in bath