Cymbal Smasher Pillows

'We've come to expect the drum beat of bad news, but are the cymbals really necessary?'

Musician hurts his nose.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'Another hit?' 'I'll stay.'

"Hello dear- couldn't you sleep either?"

Woman is held back in her career by a male boss

Look out, here comes the old man

Soccer Fans.

Person playing the cymbals.

An orchestra cymbalist is tempted by a fly.

Cymbal Player's Music Book

Martial arts man chops bricks for workmen

"How's your blogging going?"

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

I love badminton.

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

"Good. Now punch in your password."

The idea that the firm is dominated by boring white middle aged male lawyers is clearly wrong...for example I know for a fact that Gerald wears a basque under his suit. And I used to be called Mary!

Cricketer hitting ball out of TV.

"Cherchez la femme."

End Gay Stereotyping Now!

"It says here that sixty percent of women prefer chocolate to sex."

Destroying Music Speakers.

The Birth of Industrial Espionage. (A caveman peers over a small hill while another caveman smashes a smaller rock with a larger rock.)

'Now that I have your attention, dear...'

Now THAT'S a New Year's Resolution!

"Can you play cowbell? I gotta have more cowbell."

Monk destroys a question mark.

"Remember, pretend it's the patriarchy."

'As long as the house is clean, his dinner's cooked, the bills are paid, the shopping's done and the kids are taken care of then Herb doesn't mind me getting a job - it takes some of the pressure off him.'

'I like to put my own stamp on the property'