Cybercafe Regular Prints

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Your face is still hurting? You'd better get that checked. Maybe it'll go away. House of Java.net Cybercafe. True. Or maybe it'll turn into something a lot worse because you didn't get it checked today. It could be nothing, but it could also be nerve damage. Or an infection in your gums. You could lose all your teeth, little buddy. How'd you like to try paying for implants on minimum wage? That sounds awesome. Can they be bionic? "Matter-Eater Lad" was my favorite superhero.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses.

Oh good life, you give to me … a gift sweeter than a rose. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Sunday night at 9, you see: Binge watching Sopranos. Mobsters be her muse.

Is my tweet all ready to go? House of Java.net Cybercafe. In a few seconds, your Twitter followers will see an image of your bicep. and then all heck will break loose. Twitter followers? The people who follow your tweets. How many follower have you amassed with your quirky long-tailed observations. Start with the America Online sweeping the nation and catch me up from there. Coffee.

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Steampunk

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

Try our bottomless cup of coffee!

"One can often infer things about the environment from the overall health of the bird population."

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'Your computer picked up viruses. . . An ounce of perversion costs a lot of pounds to cure.'

"My Soul belongs to the Computer."

I'd like a small coffee. One big coming up. I said a small! That's what it is. But we call it a big now. The medium is now called grandeur, and the large is the skyscraper. Yeah, and what do you call these inflated prices? Cheaper.

I've been brought in to negotiate a settlement between you two. It's in the interest of this caf

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."