Cyber Love Detective T-Shirts

If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Harry Styles he's really unemployed, 45 and lives with his mother!

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Online marriage ceremony.

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"Darling Elizabeth! How I long to hold you betwixt my giant industrial clamps."

"I think Baxter needs a break."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"It's not what you think."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

The Darknet starts right here.

'We were matched by computer.'

Cyber Love

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

Berlitz guide to Scamese