Cv Crack-up Prints

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

Caged Businessman

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'How long's he been out there?'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'

"I think there's been a mistake... I applied for the caretakers job."

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."