Cuteness Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

"Oh sure, cute is forever, you just go on thinking that."

"Oh crap, he's figured out how to weaponize his cuteness."

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

'Man, I wish she would act her age.'

'Will you please stop trying to out-cute each other?'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Electric Blanket.

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Who's a cutey?

"I suffered a stroke."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Boss, he followed me home. Can I mentor him?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'How does this one feel?'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

A Woman's Conquests.

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'