Cute Stock Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Oh, Cynthia. I must tell you. I just found the cutest little mutual fund...'

The day the stock market went UP.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

Bug hanging up stockings

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

Bats with blankets.

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"I suffered a stroke."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Who's a cutey?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

The boss yells at me whenever I try to think outside the box! He's giving you some constrictive criticism!

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

Stock market worries.

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

"Oh I don't know - if you've seen one wall street crash, yhou've seen them all."

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

All set for the big sleep, Frank? I'm getting there. I've been storing up fat for the winter. And how about Ernie? He's trying something different this year. He's got wi-fi, a game console and virtual reality googles. He's going to cybernate.

Bull and Bear Nightmare