Customs Agent Prints

"Hold on -- your boarding pass says 'possum,' but your passport says 'opossum.'"

"Right, the next couple through we'll strip search!"

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

"You can pack this back up now."

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

When police 'sniffer dogs' go bad.

"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"

Vaccination Passport

'I don't care if you do put me on the naughty list, your bag needs to go through x-ray.'

Passport Photo

Three wise men being stopped by customs.

QR Immigration

"OK the rest of you, out you come - we know you're up there!"

Border Controls: Riding the border.

Vat Nav

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

'Do you have a visa?'

N"o, I don't have a criminal record - do I need one?"

"King Herod sent us."

"Sorry, Celesteville remains banned."

"Haven't I suffered enough?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Schengen

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

UK border controls relaxed.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Collies Without Borders

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.