Customer Whisperers T-Shirts

Complaints Management

'I'm not sure what to do with you. You had a customer complaint this morning, then, a few minutes ago, you got a customer compliment...I guess they balance each other out.'

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"My hunch is heads will roll."

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

'I've started an Employee Recognition Program. I know who you are.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'