Currency Wisecracker Pillows

'At least he didn't demand the 56p small change.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Euro Bait

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

My First Bitcoin.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'Well, that's a tough question, son. The truth is no one knows what happens when we die, although most religions do believe in some kind of persistent vegetative state.'

'If wine is 85% water, as long as I leave over 15%, I guess I can drink all I want.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Welcome! University of Hard Knocks...Where common sense is better than smarts!

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

'Now that we can talk, let me give you some advice....'