Currency Jester Mugs

News. E-Commerce News. It says there's a company providing a payment method for buying blemish cream. That should call it "zitcoin"!

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Why markets crash.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Bad Interview Technique

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Wait a minute....!

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Investments.

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Now, where was I?"

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'