Cupids' Apprentice Gifts

'So, how are things in Australia?'

"Hi-yah!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

NASA Special

'She's still a novice yet.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Valentine Vaccines

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Valentines

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Valentine's Day

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

Valentines

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'There! I've attached a sundial to the wheel. I'm going to name it a 'Rolex'!'

Next time you send a Valentine message over the office intranet remember not to press 'send all'.

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

"Great act - but let's see how he does on the written test."

The Traditional Board Game Company

'Winter days not nice enough for gardening.'

The training halo...

"A bow and arrow is SO 18th century."

'Actually, this is very common around Valentine's Day'

Magician tells of Apprentice