Cupids' Apprentice Gifts

'So, how are things in Australia?'

"Hi-yah!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Gee, I never saw that coming."

NASA Special

Valentine Vaccines

'She's still a novice yet.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Young Houdini

"Try a danged head shot!"

Valentines

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Valentine's Day

Valentines

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'There! I've attached a sundial to the wheel. I'm going to name it a 'Rolex'!'

Next time you send a Valentine message over the office intranet remember not to press 'send all'.

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

"Great act - but let's see how he does on the written test."

The Traditional Board Game Company

'Winter days not nice enough for gardening.'

"A bow and arrow is SO 18th century."

The training halo...

'Actually, this is very common around Valentine's Day'