Cultural Curiosity Gifts

"What have you done besides the usual Eskimo things?"

Louis Armstrong

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Creation of Red Wine

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

The Cremaster Cycle

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Zora Neale Hurston

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Raton the Bull (el toro asesino) - The killer bull.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"Of course I discovered America... My marketing team said so."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

'We go to Italy in the summer - it's like a home from home for the kids!'

Chinese History: Redwash

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

3D Theatre

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

The drinker.