Culinary Swinger Pillows

'Fetch me the leftover meatballs! Thanks!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Menu Dating

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Baker Romance

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

The Perfect Foil

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Feast

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

Cookery Lesson.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

The perfect man