Culinary Scientist Pillows

"No, I'm not the waiter. I'm the genetic engineer. How would you like your lamb?"

Under strict laboratory conditions, research concludes,that in spite of being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Care to join me? I'm making lunch.'

"Needs a pinch of salt."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'If that's the way he feels about chemistry, there's no harm done.'

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

Culinary surgery.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Picking pastries.

Cookbooks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'