Culinary School Enrollment T-Shirts

"I didn't think training to be a Chef would mean dicing with death."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Domestic Goddess.

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"States of tofu"

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'