Culinary Rookie Prints

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Rump roast?"

Cookbooks

Picking pastries.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"