Culinary Klutz Prints

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

Gone To Hospital.

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"On. More. Try."

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

Horse meat scandal.

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

'Why can't I make my pastry light?'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"