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'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

'I just saw this fall out of a chicken's bum...let's eat it!'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Grandma's caf

'I was in the catering corps.'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

The Velvet Mesquite

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

Culture clash

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Tortilla the Hun.

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

"Remember the good old days, when all we had to worry about was a dollar-sixty-a-pound sirloin?"

The First Roast Chicken.

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

Taste of the east (London).

"I hunted, Tirka gathered, and Crock made chili."

Prehistoric Doughnut Stand.

"I just invented the power lunch."

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"Blessed are the Greek, for they shall invent olive oil."

Paninis of the Old West

"Yo, Mr. 'Knight of the Round Table' — this isn’t cilantro, it’s parsley."

Before the wheel.

'I just loved you Potatoes O' Squanto!'

"Yams, pie, stuffing, pumpkin, bean casserole, biscuits, corn, cranberry sauce, carrots, mashed potatoes...where's the turkey?"

Manna Helper

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."