Culinary Crime Fan Prints

"Vinnie would appreciate it if you reconsidered that Yelp rating."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Not much cop are you!'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"I've..er..come to read your meter..?"

"Waiter!"

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Therapy among thieves

The Codfather.

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).