Culinary Cost Contemplator Pillows

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Roast chickens £4. Pensioners £3.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

US Dollar weakens.

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"We make all our cupcakes with love, which is way cheaper than real vanilla."

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

Lunch Broker

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

Euro crisis

Curry for Breakfast.

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'What's affordable tonight?'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

"I've discovered a great way to diet...I just look at the price of food and I lose my appetite!"

"Could I have your leftovers menu?"