Culinary Conservationist T-Shirts

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Scarcity

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Please don't kill me."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

'There's not use-by date on honey: It pretty much lasts forever...'

Biocafeteraologist

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

Gluttony and Famine

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

"It's a no-pepperoni pizza-- a message of hope for all mankind."

'Care to form a splinter group?'

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

"And then in Italy Paola's collection of canned tomatoes is unrivaled"

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

"It's true. Your great-grandfather was right there at the beginning of blackened redfish."

'Rudolph, your nose!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'How many spoons do you need to feed a baby?'

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."

Papi's idea of a good father vs. Baldo's idea of a good father: dinner plans.

'Everything is spoiled. Don't tell me it's not cyberhacking.'

'One more fish, Alice, and you'll be able to use the old frying pan.'

Darwin's Origin of Sushi.

Charles Forte

Chef's Confession

"We could have really used you last year, but it seems to be clearing up."

The Open Source Cafe

'Could you spin the lazy susan so I can reach the tartar sauce, please,'