Culinary Communicator Mugs

'Hello, chef, could you make that steak rare, after all?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Your French dip, sir.'

"States of tofu"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Soup of the month.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Would you like some wings?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Ninja bread men"

Wok. Don't Wok.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Garden.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Two vegans, please."