Culinary Comedy Connoisseur Pillows

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"States of tofu"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Night of the Latkes

"Would you like some wings?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Ninja bread men"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Cookbooks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."