Culinary Comedy Buff Mugs

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"States of tofu"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Chez Nous Menu

"That's it. We’re toast."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Soup of the month.

6 Brothers Falafel

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Night of the Latkes

"Ninja bread men"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Wok. Don't Wok.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Would you like some wings?"

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."