Cubicle Competition Enthusiast Pillows

Foam Finger Envy

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Best project manager we ever had."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Work Slave

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"The first of many cubicles..."

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'I need a smarter computer.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'

"A watched file never loads..."

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

'Stop mumbling, George! We all had to start somewhere...'

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

"I'm worried about Jenkins. He went in three days ago and hasn't come out."