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'My sources tell me, Jenkins, that you've requested one lunch break and several bathroom breaks each day. I consider that a sign of weakness. You're fired.'

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

Isn't it cool? I printed out my reply to your raise request using the 3-D printer! NO!

'It started last week. Our network seems to perceive Bob as some kind of computer virus!'

"Jim, we're moving you to the front cubicle. For some reason, all our potential employees insist on seeing the 'company Jim.'"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

"Best project manager we ever had."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"It is what it is."

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."