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'My sources tell me, Jenkins, that you've requested one lunch break and several bathroom breaks each day. I consider that a sign of weakness. You're fired.'

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

'It started last week. Our network seems to perceive Bob as some kind of computer virus!'

"Jim, we're moving you to the front cubicle. For some reason, all our potential employees insist on seeing the 'company Jim.'"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

"Best project manager we ever had."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

Just don't let the old man get you down.

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

"It is what it is."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'