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"Explain these 3,674 games of solitaire we found on your office computer?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'That's our mission statement.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Work Slave

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Busy day at the office.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Stacked In Tray

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I need a smarter computer.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

Paper Trail