Crystal Balls Pillows

"Your best bet would be to stay in bed next year"

Next week's hindsight today - The future is now next week.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Fortune Teller looks aghast at what she shes in her crystal ball.

'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'

'What do you mean, closed due to unforeseen circumstances?'

"Perhaps you'd like a second opinion?"

Madam Zelta foresees all.

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

Crystal Ball Plug

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

'Very soon you will be 25 dollars poorer!'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'How much?!... I wanted my fortune read, not taken from me!'

Three balls...no waiting.

'It's for people like yourself, who have led full lives.'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

Psychic near sign: Madam Zoe. Palms read futures told weather forcasts given.

"You will live a short but fruitful life."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Quantum Psychic

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'