Cruise Junkie Pillows

'Then Mrs. Noah said, 'the next time we go on a cruise, we're going with my friends'.'

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

World Tour.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The High Line at Giza

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

'See you in two weeks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

Holiday Adventures - Off the beaten path.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"Ticket and passport, please."

The Desert Island Package

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

Skiing at Sea

Cruise.

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

"We should just stay down here year-round."

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.