Cruise Junkie Pillows

'Then Mrs. Noah said, 'the next time we go on a cruise, we're going with my friends'.'

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

World Tour.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

The High Line at Giza

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

'See you in two weeks!'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

Holiday Adventures - Off the beaten path.

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Ticket and passport, please."

The Desert Island Package

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Cruise.

Skiing at Sea

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

"We should just stay down here year-round."