Critters With Concerns Pillows

Worm complaints desk

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

Gangster Babies

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'I don't feel like there is anything to sing about.'

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"Where's your evidence?"

"Pew researchers!"

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'Frank has an obsessive fear of hitting a deer.'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

Assignment - Review School Security.

Get well card for a dog

Homework.

"Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. It's my ball. It's gone right under the sofa."

The Anxious School Drop Off

Cycle of Life

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

"You'll see, he's not a bad Master, but for some weird reason he insists on my sitting before I cross the road..."

'Chewing bones? Hunting cats? Biting mailmen? C'mon, kid! Time to see the really important things in life!'

Uncertain Future

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'