Critter Cuisine Critic Mugs

'I'm starved. Instead of a fly in my soup, make it a mouse.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

View to the Future

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Too much cilantro

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"