Critter Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

'I don't know why they call it 'Game Hunting': It doesn't look like a game to me at all...'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'