Critique Comrade T-Shirts

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

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Final words on gravestones.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Alms Bank

'You are doing it wrong.'

'If at first you don't succeed, appoint a committee and let them worry about it.'

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

Art Gallery.

"But is it art?"

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

The Man of Taste.

"Now you can send it."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"I just love your use of lying"

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

"I can see it going even a little more feline."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."