Criticism Pillows

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

'Personally, I thought it stunk!'

Reading my Critics

Early art critic

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

'Viewers are warned that the film you are about to see contains no nudity or strong language.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

Sculptor's dedication to critics.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'These soaps always kill off people to improve ratings!' 'Hey! Why don't they kill of the writers?'

Nitpicking Championships

Art Critics.

"If you don't mind, please take a moment to fill out this brief customer service survey...now...while we watch."

Mariana in the Moated Grange - Commercialism in Art

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Pah Excrement'

'You're quick to criticise, but slow to help.'

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

"With apologies. . ? I'd have put: 'You know where you can stick it!'"

"Hanging's too good for them."

"Your earlier work was better."

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"He's forgotten why he was shouting at the telly."

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

Vain

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"Cousin Magdalena likes pushing Tia Carmen's buttons, doesn't she?"

The Humiliation of being Art.

"But is it art?"

Sculptor's chippings

"My art raises complex tissues."