Critic Of Media Gifts

'There's so much rubbish on the telly these days.'

Trial by Media

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

'There's nothing on.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'