Critic-in-training Pillows

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Samuel Beckett

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"You'll never believe who's here."

Seamus Heaney