Critic-in-training Pillows

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"You'll never believe who's here."

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

The Algonquin Round Table