Criminal Psychologist Pillows

Serious Freud Squad - "Tell us about your mother."

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"'Alleged,' please, 'alleged.'"

"I need money to finance my studies in criminal psychology with a focus on antisocial behavior."

'If you give up the right to remain silent, you get to keep all bragging rights.'

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Prisoner Crossing

The last chance

'I must admit I'm uneasy over the policy of offenders meeting their victims.'

"I was almost like Robin Hood. I took from the rich, but then I kept it."

Liar under arrest.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Philosophize

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play'

Congratulations you are the 10,000.

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

In jail dreaming of a key/release

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'So I robbed a bank! -- what difference will it make a hundred years from now?'

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Yes, I robbed the bank -- but I had the best of intentions.'

'My only witness and alibi for the bank job was the guy I was robbing across in another part of town.'

'I wouldn't have gotten caught except for the fact that the police stopped following the law.'

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

"Were the muggers young? Oh yes, all under 70."

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

The Blind Exhibitionist

"It was my upbringing, I was smacked on my bottom when I was born."

'Impersonating a police officer. What are you in for?'

'Hey buddy, why don't you get a life? Hahaha.'