Criminal Justice Comedian T-Shirts

Gear up your favorite law-loving comedian with our witty t-shirts. Designed with clever sayings and humorous twists on the justice system, they’re perfect for making a statement and sharing a laugh.

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'Murder, eh? Nailed me for trespassing.'

'Murder, eh? Nailed me for trespassing.' mockup

'Murder, eh? Nailed me for trespassing.'

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Gary turns 40.

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No caption

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This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies! mockup

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

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'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.' mockup

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

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'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.' mockup

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

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'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.' mockup

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

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The Mafia Goes Green.

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The Mafia isn't what it used to be... mockup

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

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"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description." mockup

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

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"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us." mockup

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

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Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now. mockup

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

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'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!' mockup

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

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'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.' mockup

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

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'Timeout! ... Coaching change.'

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'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.' mockup

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

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'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!' mockup

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

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"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it."

"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it." mockup

"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it."

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'Hello, Mum!'

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'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.' mockup

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

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'How bad is it?'

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'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.'

'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.' mockup

'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.'

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"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty." mockup

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

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'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?' mockup

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

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"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

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'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.' mockup

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

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'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.' mockup

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

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Cuffwear, 2004

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"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

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