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Mismatched Lineups

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Mobsters at the Beach

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Taking to the sky...

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

Fake Counterfeit Money

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"Any clues?"

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

"We've read your crime-thriller novel and have decided to publish it. As a coloring book."

Edgar Wallace.