Crime Scene Analyst T-Shirts

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Well at least they died with smiles on their faces.'

'Never mind WHOdunit - HOWdunnit?'

"There's something very wrong with this picture, detective."

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

"So despite the strong smell of petrol you still claim that your husband, cat and budgie all spontaneously combusted?"

"They grow up so fast."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Newton's Law and Order.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Bribery and Corruption.

"I couldn't finish that book either."

Turkey Autopsy