Crime Comedy Lovers T-Shirts

'The insider traders always sit together.'

"How do I know that banana is really loaded?"

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

Worst escape attempt ever.

'Criminal mastermind.'

'...And this little piggy knocked over a liquor store....'

'Sorry, they all smell the same to me.'

"Oh, damn it! We are trapped!"

'Make it look like an accident'.

'A guy on the phone says he's stolen your identity, but thinks you and him might get on, do you want to go for a pint with him?'

'Yes inspector, it's another cold blooded murder!'

'Actually, I'm completely legit - I make a living appearing in police lineups.'

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'