Crime Comedy Admirer Pillows

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

Tree Thief

'Er! Wonder if they got any lead?'

A police steak out

'I am here, because I killed two people while I was sleepwalking!'

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Moses' Tablet

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Falstaff

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Cat Burglar

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

Hamlet

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Cheating Death.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Storm in a magic lamp.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

One Painting Says To the Other... 'Do you ever get that creepy feeling like they are watching you.'