Crime Comedies T-Shirts

Beats me how he got mixed up with the mafia in the first place.

'Uh-oh! Drugs runners!'

Joan Hickson

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Slow Night

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Next camera crew 5 mins

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Miami Mice

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"Paper or plastic?"

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Police Lineup Escape

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."