Crime And Faith Analyst Pillows

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

Financial Corruption

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

New research on streetcrime

See no evidence, hear no evidence, speak no evidence.

Don't worry, we're anti gun control.

"They're really more like a bucket list."

"Ah ha! Organised criminals..."

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

"Thou shalt not kill. It's a sin. But people still commit murders, I'm happy to say. And the state kills the murderers...I'm twice as happy to say."

"They all lead back to this ball of yarn."

"It's not a spike in crime, it's a spike in REPORTING crime that was there all along. So... that's better, right?"

Crime Prevention Seminar

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

'I'm a grandfather. How would you like it if someone mugged your grandfather.'

Equal Time for All Christians

"I see the cuts are starting to bite."

Plea Bargain Deals of the Rich and Famous

'When the Secretary of the Navy signed off with, 'Long live the Ayatollah', I knew we had been hacked.'

The Forensic Statistician...

Lost and Found with Paedophiles and Criminals. Man from Home Office looking very pleased.

Criminal lawyers - 3 crimes or less,

'This is the Island of REAL misfit toys.'

'Why can't you solve this?!'

Cats vs Murder Wall

"The Knife Tsar didn't last long!"

"...and a report of a blue-skinned, green-haired male breaking into the School for the colour blind."